Tech wise the first few shows had some BAD hiccups, but after the third it was running fine. I learnt how to put chases to memories too, which is something I didn’t know how to do on the desk in question.

I’ve now got the same post show blues I’ve got after Inconsistent though, I get it after most shows. Really, for a week you’re practically living with a group of people. Some of them you’ve worked with before, like the theatre staff, but there are new actors you meet, and for a week you’re all best friends, you see eachother every day, but as soon as the show is over everything changes. Everyone suddenly snaps back to reality. We all go our different ways, back to our normal day jobs and in some cases, know we’ll never see eachother again. You get really close to people and then they vanish.

I don’t know, maybe I get really emotionally attached more than the other staff because I’m a woman? Or because this is my first year working in a real theatre?  Or because deep down I’m just a big softie? Who knows?

I’ll miss the other theatre staff too, even though we’ll all see each other again soon. I want to arrange for us all to go on a trip or go for a meal or something, but I don’t know if anyone else will be up for it.

Anyway, that’s enough of the rambling. I’ve put some more content up, reviews and photography and stuff. (Hopefully I will have done anyway. I blog before I update, and then usually wander off and do other things.) I want to make a new layout soon, but it’s finding the time. And a lead for my graphics tablet.

Toodle Pip!

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I don’t know why I started with that. No one knew I was gone, no one cares I’ve returned. At least I have a good reason for my absence though. I’ve been on tour.

How cool is that to say? Really, me, the most boring girl on earth has actually been on tour, with a play. Travelling, staying over, going on adventures in the day, performing in the evening, partying in the night. I know I was blogging about being worried, but I now see I had nothing to worry about. I’d give anything to do it over again and enjoy it more rather than focus on my nerves, but now, The Inconsistent Whisper of insanity is over, and now I’m back to my normal everyday routine.

Just about.

It wasn’t a massive tour, just around the North West of England (if that), but it was such an amazing experience. It’s amazing how quickly you can grow close to people, and how people bond when they’re thrown together. I can come away from it with so many new friends and so many memories, and a muted feeling of pride that I was involved in it, and a feeling of excitement that I might be involved in something like it again. There was talk of the best three plays going to London; I still have hopes for that.
From a theatre point of view, the play was successful. We got really good reviews and loads of positive feedback – most people want to see it expanded, and we had good audiences every night. From a technical point of view, it went really well. Both me and the sound designer got our names in the British Theatre Guide, which I find really encouraging, and I learnt a lot about lighting. I’ve already been asked about another project next year, and I have another show starting on the 16th of August, so I’m looking forward to that.

So, now I’m back to my normal, everyday life. I’m still writing for the magazine (that’s what I should be doing right now to be honest, but I can’t think. I went to see Lightspeed Champion and he was so amazing I felt sick, but it’s hard to put it into words.) Still working for the rugby club and still working in a real job like real people do. Sometimes I want nothing more than to lie back and go to sleep, but most times I am glad I’m so busy, it gives me a feeling of…worthwhileness? Like I’m not wasting space?
I can’t describe myself.

Anyway, before I head back to my reviews, I want to share a conversation I overheard on the bus. I don’t usually hear conversations on the bus, as I have my headphones in, but I caught a snippet of a conversation and had to listen to the end of it.

The setting and….stage directions are in italics.

An immaculate girl walks onto the bus with her friend. She is around 5″6, slim, with perfect skin, hair and teeth. She sits at the back of the bus, taking up two seats, and puts her feet on the seat in front. Her friend sits behind her. The main girl will be known as “A”, her friend as “B”.

A: Yeah, I got my teeth done on the NHS.
(Fair enough, most kids do get braces, contact lenses and glasses on the NHS. I did. That’s what the health service does. It’s not usually purely cosmetic though, if my teeth didn’t get fixed they’d have caused severe problems in later life.)
B: Aww, so jealous.
A: You can get loads done on the NHS!
B: Really? Like what though?
A: I’m getting a boob job done, like, for free, on the NHS!
B: Oh My Gaawwwd! How?
A: Oh, like, I told them I hate my boobs and they make me depressed and that. You have to like, pretend you’re really miserable about it and it gets you down so much you don’t want to leave the house, but they fix you for free. I think I want…double f boobs. I mean, you know, for free like. You do have to pretend

I do hate to be pious, and political and voice my opinions, because there’s nothing worse than having someone rant their view at you, but I find this disgusting.

The NHS provide England with almost free healthcare, and are quickly running out of funding. Nurses, Doctors, Surgeons and auxiliary staff are being made redundant every day because of a lack of government funding. Hospitals are closing down, equipment and research being lost all the time. Despite this, the NHS still save lives and help people through horrible illnesses, cancer, AIDS, meningitis and other fatal things, fatal things which need funding to help treat them, or at least help ease the pain of the poor people who suffer from them.

And she’s WASTING this money on her BREASTS. She must have been no older than 15, pretending she’s so hung up on her appearance she can’t cope, when there are people who actually do think they are so ugly they kill themselves, who get no help or treatment. There are people dying who could use the money to live another day, there are scientists who could use that money to research a cure for something, and instead it’ll be spent on making a beautiful but shallow girl ugly. Obviously, she’s not all to blame, the NHS are ridiculous for agreeing to it, but how can anyone’s mind even come up with that? To exploit a health service which tirelessly strives to save people just so you can walk around in a low cut t shirt and get a few wolf whistles?

Those breasts best find a cure for cancer, because the NHS won’t.

The first week of rehearsals, I was told not to come. There would be no point in coming because the play would be too messy for me to light so that was fine. I spent that week looking for a job so I could pay the company owner for petrol and accommodation while we were on tour. Thankfully, I got a job, and paid him all his money. And now the play is ready, I can attend rehearsals!

Only, I can’t, because now I’ve got a job.

The boss seems annoyed enough about my touring as it is (I wrote it on my cover letter to every company – which I assume every employer reads and therefore employs me comfortable with the fact I will need some time off.) It would be wrong of me to ask for even more time off to attend rehearsals, but it’s essential that I do. If I ask for more time off though, I loose my job. If I stay in work, I’ll probably loose my place on the play. I got the job so I could afford to go on tour.

I didn’t think this through at all. And now I’ll probably be playing the price. I’m also juggling work and this play with another play, the magazine, rugby and living. This is this week’s plan for me, just so you know I’m not going over the top:

Monday – Work 9:30am – 6:30pm  (I should be in rehearsal)

Tuesday – Shirley Valentine 10am – 5pm
Rugby Meeting 8pm onwards

Wednesday – Shirley Valentine 10am – 9.30pm
Rugby Training + Workshop 6pm-7.30pm (Can’t attend, and again, I should be in rehearsals all day)

Thursday – Work 9.30am – 5.30 pm
Shirley Valentine – 6pm – 9.30pm
Shed Seven 7pm – 11pm (I was meant to be reviewing this, I might still get there)
Magazine Deadline (Another day where I should be in rehearsals)

Friday – Work 9.30am – 5.30pm
Production Meeting 4.30 pm

Saturday – Work 9.30am – 6.30pm

Sunday – Work 11am – 6.30pm

Don’t get me wrong, I am eternally grateful for every chance and opportunity I get, and for my job which means I don’t have to sponge money off my parents, but eventually I’m going to have to let people down, and then they won’t trust me anymore. I already think my friends are getting annoyed with me, and my boss is annoyed with me already.That’s the only thing bothering me – that I will undoubtedly let someone down.

I don’t know where I’m going with this blog at all, so I’ll just say that I threw a set of brushes up onto the extras page, and updated some other things that I can’t really remember. And Thom got a blog.

Right, back to work! Adios all xxx

Maybe I misunderstand the term “high street,” but to me it meant shops that are common on the high street. New Look, Primark*, Peacocks and so on – cheap shops basically. The type of places real people shop at. The type of places where £50 would get you about seven items, not one poxy bag with a name on.

I have just opened up the magazine on a random page and honestly, the prices of the things are so expensive, you’d think I was making it up for emphasis, so I opened up onto a second page:

Silk Jacket – £181 – by Malene Birger
Demin Jeans – £49.50 – by GAP

I could rant a lot on these two items alone, but to make it easier to read, I will list the three things that annoy me the most and then stop complaining.

Annoying thing one – £230.50 on a jacket and jeans? Seriously? I know flats across the city you can rent for that much per month. And most people don’t earn more than £1,000 a month, why would they waste a quarter of that on a pair of jeans and a jacket?

Annoying thing two – Who the hell is Malene Birger? There are no Marlene Birger shops on my high street. I realise a real silk jacket or high quality would be expensive – but this is a high street magazine. Along with this title comes the assumption of casual situations. I would not wear silk, or anything work more than £40 to a casual situation. Too much risk.

Annoying thing three – I can buy a pair of jeans for £5. And what’s more, I won’t be too scared to actually wear these jeans in everyday situations, because they didn’t cost me 3 days wages.

I’m not a fashionista, fashion doesn’t usually bother me, I just buy new clothes when I need them as long as they are cheap and comfy, so maybe I’m committing some huge fashion faux pas, and Victoria Beckham will come and get me in my sleep and take me to some crazy fashion camp and I’ll turn into some short brunette Paris Hilton type…creature, but neither of those things seem to be “high street” prices to me. Infact, they seen extortionate. So until you can give me a brilliant reason not to, I’m sticking to my £5 jeans, because they look exactly the same.

And don’t even get me started on the models, please. That’s a whole website in itself. I will just say that the woman modeling the jeans for super skinny legs and large thigh legs was the same woman. And she didn’t have legs. She had straws.

I think I’m done now, because this isn’t a blog. This is unstructured rambling, and it’ll be the only thing on my mind tomorrow as I sort though my £5 denim jeans, and £5 (fake) silk jacket.

(* I’m not completely ignorant or soulless, I realise some places’ prices are low because of child labour. As far as possible, I stay away from these shops. I shop at Primark very infrequently, only when I am skint and really need something, like if my shoes break and leak but I can’t afford other stores’ prices. But this doesn’t apply for every company, you can keep prices low in other ways.)

I had a trial for a job today. The job is in a new clothes shop in the city centre. All the clothes there are £5, and some of them are really nice, but the shop is tiny. The jobs you can do are very limited, and it pays less than minimum wage, but I don’t care. I need this job to fix my teeth and to help pay for university. I think the trial went very well and I’m quite optimistic, but I won’t find out until tomorrow if I’ve got it. The owner of the shop seemed pleased with my work, but he really didn’t seem impressed with me needing around 3 weeks off for the theatre work – but I promised him I’d still be able to come to work while the show was in Liverpool and Manchester – just not Buxton and he eased up a bit.

I had a theatre show on Saturday, and was rather nervous about it. I haven’t been to the studio since about April, and knew there’d only be time for one tech run which isn’t usually enough for me because I panic. I was also very worried because it was described as a variety show.
I’m not sure about anyone else, but when variety show is said, I think of bad comedians, dodgy cabaret performers and over-dramatic singers. I really wasn’t looking forward to it at all, and I think my “enthusiasm” showed. Whereas usually before a tech I would be up in the gantry making sure everything was set and clearing any old cues from last show, this time I just sat in the office and read The Crucible. After about half an hour, the stage manager comes up and tells me it’s time to go – and hands me a running order.

Act 1:

1 – Hell (orginally by Rowan Atkinson)
2 – Balls! (Fry and Laurie)
3 – French Class (An extract from The History Boys)
4 – Fatal Beatings (Rowan Atkinson)
5 – The Last Supper (Monty Python)

and so on and so forth. Even though I’ve seen all the Monty Python, Fry and Laurie, Rowan Atkinson and other british comedy before, seeing this variety group performing it was the funniest thing I’d seen in ages (and I don’t actually like Monty Python). I enjoyed every second, I was even laughing when I saw the actual show (Once I’ve seen a show in a tech run, that’s it, I don’t find it funny after.) but still managed to keep every cue exact.
I’ve been feeling really down lately, and wondering if I should go to university to study theatre tech, or if I should just get a real job, but seeing this show really made me realise how fun theatre is. It proved to me how much I enjoy it, and how I enjoy meeting new people in a very fleeting way.

Tomorrow is a very busy day for me. I have to go to the bank, go to rehersals and then go to rugby. Instead of going to sleep though, I’m off to play Majora’s Mask. Goodnight all!

There are still some things I need to sort on it – mainly the TTF Titles plug-in. I can’t work out how to make everything in the <h2> class an image, but for now I’m just trying to make everything look the same. Some of my old blog titles are a bit messed up because of the change in font, but I’ll leave it for now.

In other news, I attended my first ever launch party on Tuesday. It was for the 24/7 Festival in Manchester – my play being The Inconsistent Whisper of Insanity. (Please click the link and watch the trailer, it’s really cheesy, I love it!) I’ll be honest, it wasn’t what I expected at all. The venue was stunning, as the staff were so organised an professional. There was a table filled with free wine (which I appreciated. I’m not a drinker but I was damn thirsty. I would have drunk anything.) and another table with shots of cold soup, which was the most delicious thing I have ever eaten/drank in my whole life. I’m not ashamed in admitting I had about seven – and the reason I’m not ashamed about this is because the Artistic Director did too. Despite all this though, there was an air of…informality to the event. Everyone seemed so relaxed and comfortable around eachother – as if they were all old friends. People lounged back on chairs, no one seemed to be false, no one seemed shy, no one seemed out of place. Every person I met had a story to tell and a reason for doing what they do. It was such a good experience, and one I hope to get the chance to experience again.

Only next time, I won’t drink any wine. Like I said, I’m not a drinker. After 2 glasses I was destroyed.

I also had another meet up with my the magazine I write for today. They showed us the second issue and I was (honestly) amazed to see that both my articles had been printed. I was really nervous about submitting them, and struggled a lot with the low word limit, so my hopes weren’t high – but both got printed! I’ve scanned them in and added them to the Music page if you want to look (but you don’t have to.)

And to bring this happy blog to a happy end – the forum issue is sorted. A member offered an apology/explaination and told me I didn’t need to worry. I know I took people’s replies to heart, more so than I should have done, but that’s just how it felt to me. Thanks everyone for your helpful comments too, it was really kind of you all.

I feel this is a really informal blog – I would even go so far to say it’s been poorly written, but I’m just feeling so happy right now I don’t really care. Hope you all have a really nice day xx

So to me, open forums are brilliant. One of the best ideas ever. Instead of ringing a lighting company to ask them what could be wrong with my old school’s broken collection of intelligent lighting fixtures, I just searched for a backstage / tech forum. I found on, signed up and wrote a full, detailed description before sitting back and waiting for other helpful technicians to offer their friendly advice.

It didn’t happen.

People replied obviously, because that’s what happens on a forum, but instead of offering the expected friendly advice, I just got slated by people I didn’t even know. Their problem being that their tax money has been wasted on lights that are now broken and won’t get repaired.

While it’s true that the lights probably won’t get fixed for a while, if at all, I was on that forum for advice, especially with two lights that I simply can’t diagnose at all. Instead, I have grown adults yelling at me, as if I personally took their tax money and bought the lights, then broke them on purpose.

I don’t work in that school, I’m a past pupil who took the time to learn how to use the lights so they wouldn’t be wasted. The school is a performing arts school, and the lights have been put to good use, especially when I was there. I used them nearly every week for various things. I now feel personally guilty to all these people and I don’t even have a reason too. I paid tax too when I was working, now I’m 18 I pay tax on the £3 something that’s in my bank, because I still haven’t been paid from some work I did before Easter. If I ever do get that money, I’ll be taxed on that too.

Next time I have a problem with anything, I’m going to keep it to myself. I’ve never felt so small and stupid in my life. It’s really put me off. Maybe I’m over – reacting. I’m having a bad week, maybe I’m taking it too personally, so if you want to see for yourself, this is the link. If you can be bothered reading it (it makes for a dry read) please tell me what you think.

I’m not sure what to think of this. On one hand, yes, downloading music, copying music and sharing music with the use of computers has become a major problem. The music industry is losing so much money because of it, as are the artists, but whereas the  artists can still make money through the press, appearances and live shows, the record labels can’t.

On the other hand, if record companies offered musicians even slightly smaller record deals, but signed 10x more musicians, they could afford to keep the musicians, and make profit from the sales of all the artists, because people still do buy music. I haven’t explained that properly at all…

The article talks about how Radiohead made money releasing In Rainbows on the internet, allowing customers to pay any price they wanted. Now, for well established bands like Radiohead this is fine, people will download the music for a price, people will by the CDs as collectibles, and merchandise relating to the album will earn a fair bit of revenue. But for new, up and coming bands who would rely on the PR and marketing from a professional label, this wouldn’t work as well.

I think I’m relating this situation to the Recession. I vaguely remember my sister telling me that the government can see slight dips in the economy and potential recession occasions, but if they keep quiet, the economy will steadily go back to normal. However, if it’s announced in the press “Economy could be heading for Recession” or something, the public will panic and start saving their money, lowering the economy and causing a recession. If people spent a bit more, the economy would go back to normal and everything would be fine, but because the power word “recession” has been used, companies raise prices and cut jobs. Food, fuel and clothing are all raised in price but wages are lowered and we trap ourselves.

And somehow, I got this to link into the record label situation.

And surely this only applies to major record labels like EMI and such? Surely indie record labels will be fine, and then perhaps if the major labels do, sadly, fold – the indie labels can them become the major labels and it all starts in a cycle again?

I don’t have a clue. I just know I’m going to keep buying my music legally. And on CD, not even off iTunes, because then shops like HMV might be put out of business. And I really hope you all do the same, because the knock-on effect of this could be very very bad.

I have pretty decent teeth really. I drink a lot of milk, avoid fizzy drinks and alcohol, and although I eat a lot of chocolate, I brush my teeth twice a day and have a fair amount of fruit and veg. They’re very discoloured, I’ll agree to that, and the brace didn’t work so they’re all very oddly positioned, but they’re the strongest set of teeth ever. But I did let standards slip, and about two years ago noticed small holes in my back teeth. They gave me no pain and they didn’t seem to be getting bigger, so I left them. This was two years ago bear in mind, and it was only this Easter that my bottom right tooth began to really hurt. Sheer fear of the dentist stopped me going then, but the pain died in about a week so I took no action.

Last week though, the pain became completely unbearable. Sometimes it was a sharp, stabbing pain, while other times it just throbbed.The pain spread to the whole right side of my face and my gum became so swollen, it actually came through the hole in my tooth, making the hole bigger. It was only when I brushed my teeth and made my gums bleed that the swelling went away, and the next day I got an emergency appointment at the dentist. He was a lovely dentist, very like J.D from Scrubs in the way he explained everything, and for a man who spends all day looking in other people’s nasty mouths he was very upbeat. He told me I had a bad infection in my tooth and gum and that I’d need antibiotics and root canal.

Root canal. Root canal costs £200, plus £16.50 for the emergency appointment, plus £7.20 for the antibiotics. Thank God for the NHS, otherwise it would have been a lot more, but right now that’s a hell of a lot of money for me. I get the first treatment done on June 11th, hopefully I can pay half then and half when the next step is completed, but it’s still a lot. Serves me right for not treating my teeth right though.

Anyway, I made a Myspace layout for a band, they’re linked at the bottom, and I put some new photographs up. I’m currently working on a new layout (a cheerful one, it’s nearly summer!) and a piece of artwork. It’s a model of something, I’m posting pictures up on my dailybooth but no-one knows what it is yet – I don’t know if I should be insulted or if what I’m making is just so nerdy people don’t recognise it. Hopefully I’ll finish that soon, but I can’t really afford any paint, so it’ll just be all white. But never mind!

I’ve completely run out of money. I haven’t been paid from one of my jobs, and my last job gave me £160, which is a lot for 10 hours of work, but when that’s the only paid work you’re going to have for a while, it isn’t much. I honestly can’t tell you what I spent it on. I know some of it went to my sister (who has assured me, she will pay me the £210 she owes me once she has been paid) and £10 of it went on a cardigan. Other than that…I honestly don’t have a clue. Food and bus fare it seems, I haven’t even bought iTunes money.

I did buy two hamsters, but that got taken out of the money I am owed by my parents, and even then, the hamsters, their cage, food, bedding,woodshavings, cleaning supplies and toys only came to £70, which isn’t that bad. And I like the responsibility of having them, they are teaching me to me more mature and reliable.

But anyway, I’m now writing for Bido Lito magazine (another un-paying job, but it makes me a lot of contacts in the media world.) My first job is Wednesday, reviewing The Fall in Liverpool Sound City. I am a huge Fall fan, so I’m actually really looking forward to this. I saw them last time they played in Liverpool and it really was amazing. On Saturday I also have to go and review Go Fiasco, Copyright and The Temps! It’ll be hard writing a neutral review of them, seeing as I’ve known them all for about three years, but I reckon that’ll be a fun challenge!

Also, I got the job as the lighting designer / operator for Ian Moore’s new play. I start that tomorrow, but the play itself isn’t until late July, and when it gets taken to other cities I have to pay for my own accommodation. We’re not forced to stay over, we can travel back to Liverpool every night, but I get so travel sick it really wouldn’t be a good idea to.

I know most people will just be thinking “get a proper waged job then” and I would agree with them wholeheartedly. I should get a real job like real people do. But, at the same time, if I got a proper waged job, I wouldn’t have time to do the different theatres, the rugby and the magazine, all of which are really really important to me and useful experience for what I want to do in the future.

So, until I get paid again, I’m grabbing bits of money here and there. I’ve put a link to my host up, and they’ll give me money if people sign up to anything from my link. I’m also tempted, once my hits have gone up a bit, to put GoogleAds on the site, just as a little extra. Really, I don’t waste my money. I don’t go out drinking, I don’t buy expensive clothes or bags or shoes, most of my money really does go on bus fare to and from places.

I’m doing a bit of work for another band, and once I’ve finished that, I’ll add some more content up here. The Temps website has been updated, and I’m making a website for a band called Dear Chicago. They’re both linked at the bottom.

So, toodles!

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